Public apology

[Sailor Vulcan]

To Silverclawgrizzly and anyone else it may concern,

I am sorry if you found my last comment hurtful. I meant it as poking fun at the whole concept of Yo mama jokes in general, and certainly NOT as a personal attack on you. If you ever perceive my words to be hurtful again, please don't hesitate to tell me so I can correct them. I would also appreciate it if anyone else who feels hurt or offended by my words to also PLEASE tell me. While it might hurt more in the short term if people tell me, it will be an even bigger problem in the longterm if people don't.

For most of my time on these forums I feel like I have been active, enthusiastic and friendly, but perhaps I have not been perceived that way because of my own miscommunications. I love Mage Wars and I love this community, but if I am truly unwanted here than I will leave.

Anyone who responds to this thread should be completely honest. No white lies to save my feelings. You do not need to worry about starting a conflict. I will wait until I have gotten a sufficient number of replies before I say anything at all. I will read what you have to say, I won't interrupt, and I won't defend myself, regardless of how hurtful the comments are, or how inaccurate they seem to me. If I feel it is necessary, I will send a pm to request clarification of the intended meaning of a comment.

Again, I am deeply sorry for any and all harm my words might have caused over the past year since I registered on these forums. I would like to better understand how my words are being received and how to improve the quality of my communications.

Also, thank you for bringing this issue to my attention.

[Laddinfance]

I appreciate the honesty of your response sir. We really have one of the best communities on the internet and our ability to admit mistakes is part of that.

[Zuberi]

In the spirit of honesty, I shall admit that I have disliked quite a few of your posts, but I'm sure a lot of people have disliked many of mine as well. If we were all in constant agreement, life would be terribly dull. So, my feelings about your contributions are a bit irrelevant. What I feel is relevant is that you have always struck me as enthusiastic and friendly. You have been quick to share your ideas to try and contribute to and improve upon the game and community in any way you could. I do not feel like you've been a troll, or in any way negative or deliberately malicious upon this site. You strike me as a very good person and I would be saddened by you leaving the community even if I don't always enjoy your posts.

Towards your request to better understand the way your words are received and how they may be improved upon, I shall comment that it is just a difference of style and opinion for me. There is nothing that I would suggest you change.

I shall also add that I share your distaste for "yo momma" jokes. I don't appreciate people disrespecting my family, even in jest. I know they weren't aimed at me or mine, however, and so was content to let the topic go (though I encouraged it's movement to it's own thread). I will even admit some of them are actually funny.

[Death-from-above]

The community is awesome. Ever since I've created an account on this forum, everyone has treated me with the respect that should be given to every player. I know that e even if a comment may come of as a little aggressive,  I know they are just sharing their opinions and in most cases, trying to help me become a better Mage and I respect that. I have not been offended yet by anyone here and I apologize in advance if I have ever come off as rude.

[Lord0fWinter]

In the spirit of honesty, I shall admit that I have disliked quite a few of your posts, but I'm sure a lot of people have disliked many of mine as well. If we were all in constant agreement, life would be terribly dull. So, my feelings about your contributions are a bit irrelevant. What I feel is relevant is that you have always struck me as enthusiastic and friendly. You have been quick to share your ideas to try and contribute to and improve upon the game and community in any way you could. I do not feel like you've been a troll, or in any way negative or deliberately malicious upon this site. You strike me as a very good person and I would be saddened by you leaving the community even if I don't always enjoy your posts.

Towards your request to better understand the way your words are received and how they may be improved upon, I shall comment that it is just a difference of style and opinion for me. There is nothing that I would suggest you change.

I shall also add that I share your distaste for "yo momma" jokes. I don't appreciate people disrespecting my family, even in jest. I know they weren't aimed at me or mine, however, and so was content to let the topic go (though I encouraged it's movement to it's own thread). I will even admit some of them are actually funny.

Well put. I would +1 this if I could. I agree with everything you said, Zuberi. Nobody is ever going to agree with everything we say. That's just how life is. I'm sure you weren't trying to be offensive towards Silverclaw but I can see where he is coming from also. I hope he realizes that you weren't trying to troll him, even if you guys have your differences. He may not agree with the things you say but I would hope he understands that you did not mean him any ill will.

As for possibly leaving the forums, I would implore you not to. This community is small enough as it is and would be losing a great member who is always active and is probably one of the most creative minds on here. You're always coming up with new ideas on ways to play, fan fiction, and other things, and I would honestly miss reading those if you were gone.

[Sailor Vulcan]

Thank you. I've decided not to leave. I realize in retrospect that my depressed cynicism took over for that part of the post. My fears of rejection by everyone, while not quite unfounded, are sometimes rather exaggerated compared to their actual probability, and I apologize for letting those fears cloud my judgement. There is quite obviously no real reason for me to leave the forums, and I should have seen that and not let Silverclaw's inaccurate accusations get to me. Thank you for bringing me to my senses.

[jacksmack]

In the spirit of honesty, I shall admit that I have disliked  disagreed with quite a few of your posts, but I'm sure a lot of people have disliked many of mine as well. If we were all in constant agreement, life would be terribly dull. So, my feelings about your contributions are a bit irrelevant. What I feel is relevant is that you have always struck me as enthusiastic and friendly. You have been quick to share your ideas to try and contribute to and improve upon the game and community in any way you could. I do not feel like you've been a troll, or in any way negative or deliberately malicious upon this site. You strike me as a very good person and I would be saddened by you leaving the community even if I don't always enjoy your posts.

Zuberi hit it 99% for me.


PS. Dont be upset over somebody pulling off the lowest of all "last word" trick over the internet.

[lettucemode]

I've decided not to leave.

Not that anyone could have stopped you from staying. It's the internet, dude. You can go where you want and say what you want, as long as it's within the moderation rules. Silverclaw is not going anywhere as a result of your post in the Yo Mama thread, and you shouldn't go anywhere because any backlash either, real or perceived.

As for being well-received, I suggest that you learn to not care what others think. I don't say that lightly - it really is a skill that has to be practiced and learned. I've been using forums for various games for probably 10 years now, and would always agonize over my posts and the responses to it. Only within the last year have I managed to distance myself emotionally from the things I post. I've been doing two things that have really helped me: 1) take a long break from whatever communities I'm actively involved in, and 2) disable or ignore notifications for topics I've posted in that I think may spawn some debate.

For me, I think you tend to make mountains out of molehills (example: Yo Mama thread), but I appreciate your approach to the game. I have no interest in fanfic and care little for lore, but it's good that there is someone who does. It takes all sorts, 'n 'at.

[silverclawgrizzly]

A lot of people are saying my name, well the imaginary name I go by on this forum anyway so I figured I might as well comment, hopefully this'll be the end of it. I had thought to just ignore this but well I'm getting tired of seeing it honestly so here goes, Ben "Silverclawgrizzly" Burtons thoughts.

I post a sophomoric humor inspired post for a chuckle. I'm not intending it to be taken seriously, just a joke, and a lame one at that. But lame jokes are ok, some of us make very good livings in this world telling them. I gave like thirty seconds thought to the post but subjected my friends in Charlotte to a whole slew of them for Memorial Day.

So then I wake up and basically see "You're out of line and dumb for posting this." Mind you I had to purposefully click to see the message as I have Imaginator on my Ignore List for this site. Generally when I read a lot of negativity from someone on multiple posts, or if I see just utter rudeness I ignore them as meh....drama who needs it. Also anyone who argues for 12+ pages over some infinitely insignificant topic like "What's better +1 Melee or +1 Piercing"....yeah I'm gonna ignore them....but that's my choice. If I'm ignored by others then hey cool so be it. 

Did I respond a little rough? Yeah probably. Do I apologize? Nope. I'd have done it differently had I known it'd have been such a thing, but I'm not apologizing for being me. EVER. But on the other hand I'm not agonizing on how I'm perceived by people either. I stopped that bad habit in high school. I'm a grown man with real responsibilities in real life and real people who depend on me. In terms of Mage Wars I've close to twenty in my local play group including about 5-6 new players I want to help get settled in. Words can not describe how little I sweat the small stuff I see online.

Now on the other hand I'm not upset with Imaginator. My opinion hasn't changed of you, nor did your comment change it to begin with. I still plan to continue ignoring you. I'm on this forum for one purpose: To learn more about Mage Wars, a game. I generally read the reports of new cards, check out spell books, and hear about how things are going in other areas. Oh and if I have a rules question this is a good place for it.

In terms of you leaving? Do what you want. I'm not gonna hound you and trash you or anything but hey you're free to come and go as you want same as any of us. I almost left the forum my first week here cause an idiot kept sending me personal messages about how my favorite mage sucked and how Wizards are all Superman clones who can destroy anything in like 3 seconds, and hey that was from a play tester. I didn't leave though and have benefited from this forum.

This is honestly all I got to say on this topic, and it's FAR more than I wanted to but I figure I'd try to put it to rest. I could probably word this better if I spent more time on it, but this is what I'm going with.

[Wise fool]

 I almost left the forum my first week here cause an idiot kept sending me personal messages about how my favorite mage sucked and how Wizards are all Superman clones who can destroy anything in like 3 seconds, and hey that was from a play tester. I didn't leave though and have benefited from this forum.