Hey Imaginator! Welcome to Mage wars!
So, here's the thing: "The difference between theory and practice is greater in practice than theory."
I think you need to play a few more games against an intermediate level player before you're going to be able to design a list that works well for league games. I think you're over-estimating your available prep-turns, and this feels more like a Magic the Gathering decklist than a Mage Wars book: you seem to have included 12 "land". In MtG, this would be sensible, but in mage wars, playing resource conjurations costs both mana and actions, and anything more than 3 is probably overkill. Conjurations are vulnerable to creature attacks, so you're going to have a miserable time defending them all, especially because in the early game the only thing you will have cast will be other conjurations and Fellella, who is a pest and can't guard.
In your first post, you talked about getting this book ready for organized play or maybe even tournaments, and while I know that you're busy with school, if you want this book to work you're going to need to play some more games. Things will look very different to you with some more experience, I think.
Some notes:
You may only have 1 legendary creature of a given name in play at any time. This means that you could cast one Fellella, and one Cervere, but then you would not be able to cast any more creatures until one died.
Sandstorm is not yet tournament legal, and is only available as a promo. Did you get yours at Origins?
One attack spell with a wand is not a long term plan. When they disolve your wand, you lose the spell. Also, you have two elemental wands listed in the book, but only one attack spell to attach. You won't be able to use that second wand, even if you cast it.
Even if they don't break that wand, Sandstorm costs 8 mana and does 2 dice of damage. You will not be able to kill a Steelclaw Grizzly or an Iron Golem or a Lord of Fire or any legendary angel with that. You need a plan for large creatures. Your opponents aren't going to be able to use guards against Cervere, so they'll try to kill him, probably with big creatures of their own.
There is some value in giving Fellella Cheetah Speed, and some value in giving her Mongoose Agility, but you're proposing to spend 2 actions and 10 mana to keep your 12 mana familiar maneuverable. She already flies, so only other flyers will hinder her, and all enchantments have a range of 2, so she usually doesn't have to move that much anyway.
Sandstorm is unavoidable and will hurt Fallella badly if she gets caught in it, because of the +2 vs flying. This would mean that you'd have to keep Fellella away from your Beastmaster's zone, which means you wouldn't be able to support her.
Johktari Beastmaster has +1 to ranged attacks, but you are not including any way for her to use it, even though you intend to use her as support for Cervere. You have not included any weapons or armor for your Beastmaster, other than wands.
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I know all that can sound discouraging, but all of these things are fixable, and you'll be able to fix them with just a bit more experience. I feel like it's better to know that now than to walk into league night unprepared. My recommendation is to buy the base set if you don't have it, and play a few games with the starter books. If that's not an option, you could look into playing online; there are some threads on these forums about that.
I don't think octgn is likely a great way to learn the game, but you seem smart and enthusiastic, so you'd probably manage fine.
Good luck!