I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a time limit to respond to a thread. I don't remember reading anything about it in the guidelines, so you'll have to forgive me. I have not been very active on the boards so can you link me to the rules or wherever that sort of thing is posted? Perhaps I just missed something somewhere. I would hate to keep stepping on toes.

It sounds like you're pretty set in your words of power explanation for magic, so I won't waste anyone's time (and I guess continue breaking the rules?) by discussing the matter any further.

"Magic is but a word, that causes so much confussion in our realm, that a simple toy with an enchanted speaking spell is considered magic... But who are we to judge how magic looks or feels like. It is enough for us to understand it, that it exists to be used for greater or worse purposes. Magic does not understand whether it will create harmony or reign destruction, it will only serve the one who commands it. We never cared or invested our time to know, if what we do with it is right.Good or Bad. We think that all the engines and mechanizations with magic is considered a great feat.We even think Magic is enough to elect somebody as powerful as Autokrator and consider it our spokesperson, who stands and talks for all of us wizards.

I am here to tell you, that I do not want to belong to this shallow community. I am here to tell you, that... I finally understand the meaning of it... Decades of research and travelling has gifted me with an insight like no other. It  actually exists at some plane and powers us all : creatures,plants,breathing,flying,sky,existence...

I want all of you to know, that we have to supress and understand for what purpose we should use it.

The first thing we should do as the wizards of Sortilege is to banish the Mage Wars ! This vile arena keeps using mana for no purpose at all than to prove something that is not worth proving. Something so useless, that it makes a magic wielding creature look like an ignorant and ungrateful towards Magic itself. ALL I ASK FOR YOU IS !... ! .. ack........" - Sparrowhawk, professor of Philosophy and Magic, at Bastion of Wonders

Sparrowhawk was murdered the day he showed his face in public and announced these ground-breaking news. However, after so much time he had invested in magic, this wasn't really something that could stop him.He was not murdered, he simply placed a powerful replacement body, filled with magic, which could be  considered as a clone. He wanted the response and he got what he was expecting. So he hid from society and those who hunt him for years and learned all new magic, that gave him powers beyond the scope of Autokrator. Now, he has promised that in the name of Magic, he will step into the Mage Wars arena and slay anything or anyone, for the sake of saving Magic's limitation that lets exist everything. This is the first thing of many that he will try to achieve and reduce the usage of Magic. He bears grudge at those who use Magic at the Mage Wars arena. He is the Wizard, whom everyone will fear and his name will be remembered as: Thesius...

Do you happen to be a fan of Ursula K. LeGuin? The notion of balance and the pattern, as well as the name Sparrowhawk, all reminded me of her Earthsea series.

So I'm not sure just how much feedback you're looking for on these chapters, but I figure that you wouldn't keep posting them if you didn't want SOMEONE to say something about them. I enjoy the craft of writing myself, so I'm going to give you the kind of feedback I always hope I get from the people I share my stories with, but rarely ever do: the kind that makes me strive to be a better writer.

On the whole, you do a descent job of keeping your reader interested in what's going on. Admittedly, the story is easy to picture and follow along because of the back story that has been made so readily available to us on the site, but you still manage to make the tale your own. God is in the details here, and I feel like it's all the little details that really leave your mark on the world. Things like Norch being an albino, and the stigma he managed to overcome, the hints at older and forgotten languages, the familiar's name not being known, etc. all of your personal touches, provide the reader with a richer experience and allows them to truly immerse themselves in not just the world of Etheria, but in your particular version of said world.

You're greatest weaknesses lie not within your plot, dialogue, or syntax, but in your grammar and occasionally your diction. It's nothing that a thorough reread wouldn't be able to fix. As a few rules of thumb: it's generally best to avoid reusing the same word twice within two or three paragraphs of each other, the word "that" really doesn't need to exist in most prose, and allow yourself the time to read your story aloud as that will prevent a great deal of misspellings and grammatical errors. It's annoying, but important i.e."Let's eat Grandma." vs "Let's eat, Grandma.". Comma placement can be the difference between family dinner and cannibalism  

When we read we create the world in our heads and live out the story first hand, but keep in mind nothing pulls us out of our dream like state faster or more abruptly than typos, and the more of those there are, the harder it is to reenter the world . Diction is just as important. Mark Twain is quoted as saying "The difference between the right word and the almost right one, is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."

In your first chapter, your wizard says :"How can a Mage be expected to blast lighting straight, which is difficult in the first place, with his skin peeling off?"

With lightning being misspelled, the choice of "blast" as opposed to "cast" and the unnecessary  inclusion of "which is difficult in the first place" I almost stopped reading.  One rushed sentence almost broke you here, as your word choice detracted from the sentence flow and resulted in you leading the audience too much. Its okay to point us where you want us to go, but don't make the mistake of grabbing our hands and walking us over there.

Look, so far, you have my attention, and the attention of a fair amount of others if the view posts suggest anything. I know I definitely would like to see where this road goes and I hope I'm not coming off as overly critical or harsh. There's a lot of good raw material, we just need to refine it and than polish it. I'd be more than happy to edit anything you would like to post, if you feel comfortable enough sharing before posting. Keep up the good work, and all the best. I look forward to your next chapter.